i never should have gotten out of bed
Right. So friday was the first day I could really sleep in - my shift only started at 12.45pm. Having had to endure 2 weeks of getting up at 8 or 9 every morning, then spending 8 hour days staring into space or persuading random tai-tai that that top is so sexy!, I was pleased to be staring 12-hour-sleep in the face.
Then the night before, my sister, who has been planning to scam off my amore card for ages, but has decided that I must go with her to her first class, because "I don't want to be the only one who doesn't know the steps!", decides that we are going for a 9.30am aerobics class.
9.30am. My 12-hour night of sleep had rapidly deflated into under-8. Even better, she told (told, not asked) me about the plan around 1 am. I was up late reading Harry Potter, assuming that I would be waking up the next day when everyone else was already on lunch break.
In response to my unhappy noises, she placates me by volunteering the information that she has the car so we'll drive there! Considering that she hasn't drove in about a year and a half, and she becomes only more like my mother when driving, this was cold comfort.
Right. So the next morning, she wakes me up in our usual way - involving alot of shouting on her part about how I am disgusting and wasting my life and disappointing her, while I resolutely burrow into my pillow refusing to wake up out of spite.
So around 9 am, we're ready to go. Blearily we approach the car..she's jittery, as would befit someone who hasn't drove for a year and half, and someone who drives like my mother - that is, with an unrelenting belief that something will happen on the journey: "the car is making funny noises!"; "why is that man tailgating me?!"; "did I miss the exit?!", coupled with the assumption that whatever happens it is my fault: "why must you make me drive you around? why can't you take public transport? why are you so lazy?"; me: stunned into silence/resigned to the barrage.
But back to regularly scheduled programming. So of course, while insisting that we are alright, she misses the exit to woodlands. And only realises this while we're heading towards tuas. She gets me to pull out the street directory.
I am of course no help in the midst of crisis - I can neither navigate nor drive (which happens to be why no one wants to do the amazing race with me) - I can only flip from map 23 to map 46 on her command. In my defense, she doesn't seem to know what's going on either.
Soon, it's 9.30 - the class is starting, and we're still on the BKE.
"Shall we abort?", she asks.
"You mean, not go for the class I woke up at 8.45am for, because we're lost in a country the size of a thumb? yeah alright."
But she finds the right exit a few minutes later, and we decide to press on to the woodlands amore anyways, to use the gym. To her protests that we only have one card and that we'll be caught, I say that I've used the gym there tons of times without giving my card to the counter - they'll probably not notice.
And of course, they do. They chase us into the gym to ask for our membership cards. We return to the locker room on the pretext of "getting our cards", to strategise. We decide that she should give my card, and I'll say that I forgot to bring mine, but give them my "card number" so they can check on the system. Unfortunately, the only card number I can remember is registered in the name of one jennani durai- so this ruse will invariably involve me pretending to have indian blood.
At the counter, the nice young lady informs me that I will have to pay 15 bucks, which will be refunded to me the next time I ("jennani durai") presents her card to any outlet.
She also clarifies that using the gym is considered one lesson, a huge shock to me: I've used the gym tons of times without giving them my card at all! (I mean, a gleeful shock). But a shock nonetheless at the guerilla tactics of amore fitness.
Sidebar: Other amore members: did you know this?! did you know that one gym session is equal to one class?? isn't that disgusting?!
Right. So of course now I can't go through with the whole chindian thing - I can't use one of jen's lessons without asking her! and plus, I don't want to part with 15 bucks.
So we give up and go eat breakfast at mac's instead. We should have just done that in the first place.
Or, I should just never have gotten out of bed.
Then the night before, my sister, who has been planning to scam off my amore card for ages, but has decided that I must go with her to her first class, because "I don't want to be the only one who doesn't know the steps!", decides that we are going for a 9.30am aerobics class.
9.30am. My 12-hour night of sleep had rapidly deflated into under-8. Even better, she told (told, not asked) me about the plan around 1 am. I was up late reading Harry Potter, assuming that I would be waking up the next day when everyone else was already on lunch break.
In response to my unhappy noises, she placates me by volunteering the information that she has the car so we'll drive there! Considering that she hasn't drove in about a year and a half, and she becomes only more like my mother when driving, this was cold comfort.
Right. So the next morning, she wakes me up in our usual way - involving alot of shouting on her part about how I am disgusting and wasting my life and disappointing her, while I resolutely burrow into my pillow refusing to wake up out of spite.
So around 9 am, we're ready to go. Blearily we approach the car..she's jittery, as would befit someone who hasn't drove for a year and half, and someone who drives like my mother - that is, with an unrelenting belief that something will happen on the journey: "the car is making funny noises!"; "why is that man tailgating me?!"; "did I miss the exit?!", coupled with the assumption that whatever happens it is my fault: "why must you make me drive you around? why can't you take public transport? why are you so lazy?"; me: stunned into silence/resigned to the barrage.
But back to regularly scheduled programming. So of course, while insisting that we are alright, she misses the exit to woodlands. And only realises this while we're heading towards tuas. She gets me to pull out the street directory.
I am of course no help in the midst of crisis - I can neither navigate nor drive (which happens to be why no one wants to do the amazing race with me) - I can only flip from map 23 to map 46 on her command. In my defense, she doesn't seem to know what's going on either.
Soon, it's 9.30 - the class is starting, and we're still on the BKE.
"Shall we abort?", she asks.
"You mean, not go for the class I woke up at 8.45am for, because we're lost in a country the size of a thumb? yeah alright."
But she finds the right exit a few minutes later, and we decide to press on to the woodlands amore anyways, to use the gym. To her protests that we only have one card and that we'll be caught, I say that I've used the gym there tons of times without giving my card to the counter - they'll probably not notice.
And of course, they do. They chase us into the gym to ask for our membership cards. We return to the locker room on the pretext of "getting our cards", to strategise. We decide that she should give my card, and I'll say that I forgot to bring mine, but give them my "card number" so they can check on the system. Unfortunately, the only card number I can remember is registered in the name of one jennani durai- so this ruse will invariably involve me pretending to have indian blood.
At the counter, the nice young lady informs me that I will have to pay 15 bucks, which will be refunded to me the next time I ("jennani durai") presents her card to any outlet.
She also clarifies that using the gym is considered one lesson, a huge shock to me: I've used the gym tons of times without giving them my card at all! (I mean, a gleeful shock). But a shock nonetheless at the guerilla tactics of amore fitness.
Sidebar: Other amore members: did you know this?! did you know that one gym session is equal to one class?? isn't that disgusting?!
Right. So of course now I can't go through with the whole chindian thing - I can't use one of jen's lessons without asking her! and plus, I don't want to part with 15 bucks.
So we give up and go eat breakfast at mac's instead. We should have just done that in the first place.
Or, I should just never have gotten out of bed.
