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change

celebration and packing all around me - everyone done with exams, ready for summer...can't believe that already i am saying goodbye to people for 3 long months - people i didn't know a year ago, but now i count my nearest and dearest. I remember once getting into one of my "oh my god time flies" moods, and my sister saying, it's good that you feel that time flies - time flies when you're having fun. still, a part of me feels like, no this is too fast - and then i get anxious: i feel like i need to wring every bit out of my short short time here, and when i think about how a year has just sped by, my head hurts to think of how soon it'll all be over. and i want to dig my heels in, and cling on to these moments. that would be a waste of time.

Change

Dissolving in the chemic vat
Of time, man (gristle and fat),
Corrupting on a rock in space
That crumbles, lifts his impermanent face
To watch the stars, his brain locked tight
Against the tall revolving night.
Yet is he neither here nor there
Because tomorrow comes again
Foreshadowed, and the ragged wing
Of yesterday's remembering
Cuts sharply the immediate moon;
Nor is he always; late and soon

Becoming, never being, till
Becoming is a being still.


(R.I.P) Stanley Kunitz